Monday, October 18, 2010
My Disney Dream that Almost Wasn't
In 1995, my parents brought my brother and I, and this time Pierre (now my husband) was invited to come along too. It was during this trip that I started imagining what it would be like to one day bring my own children to Walt Disney World. Pierre and I were married a year later and took several trips alone to Disney. In 2001 I was happy to announce to my family that I was pregnant. One of the things I mentioned when telling my family was that our trips to Disney were going to be even better now. Unfortunately, three months later, I had a miscarriage. Of course, I was devastated, as was my family, but I figured, we would just try again.
I had never heard of anyone having a miscarriage and had no idea who to turn to. I had just started a new job and didn't even know my coworkers. I ended up having to have surgery because though the baby died, my body could not remove it on its own. What they found out next was even more devastating. I had a partial molar pregnancy, which means your body thinks you are pregnant, even after the baby dies. Even worse, I couldn't try to get pregnant again for a year because apparently up until that time, your body could start thinking you are pregnant again even if you aren't. For an entire year, I needed to go to the hospital for blood work, at first three times a week, to once a week, to once every two, to once a month, until the year was up. Luckily, I did not have any relapse during that time, but eighteen of my coworkers and five of my friends and family members became pregnant during that next year and a half. I am not exaggerating! There was a chart in our breakroom listing all the babies that had been born. It was a big joke in our district that even the men in our school shouldn't drink the water! This made it very difficult for me. It felt like I was going to baby shower after baby shower and even hosted two of them.
Once my year was up, we started trying again. Soon after, I had my second miscarriage at 7 weeks. I was completely devastated and was starting to think that this just might not happen for us. But it didn't really hit me until our Disney trip in 2004. My husband and I had traveled alone to WDW and met up with our friends. It was an amazing trip and we had perfect weather and ate at all our favorite restaurants. But our last night of vacation became one of my saddest days in Disney. Now let me admit, that I am a crier. I cry at Wishes, Illuminations, when I see the castle, our last night at Disney, so as a general rule, I avoid Wishes my last night. No need to torture myself and combine two emotional events that make me cry into one. Well, on this trip, it worked out that we were at Wishes on our last night. As we stood in the mass of people on Main Street to watch Wishes, we were standing next to a family of four. The little girl was probably 4 years old and on her dad's shoulders. The little boy was probably 8 or 9 and standing in front of his mom with her arms over his shoulders. As the fireworks began, the little girl let out a laugh of excitement, which caught my attention. I looked over and all four of them had the biggest smiles on their faces. It hit me right then and there, that I just may never be able to have my own children and bring them to Disney . . . my Disney dream. I felt tears just start to drip from my eyes. It had been almost 3 years since the first time I was pregnant and we were on the verge of giving up. I was convinced we just weren't destined to be parents.
As I stood there crying, I made my own wish that one day I could be like that family and be standing right in that spot on Main Street with my own children. It was quite a way to end our vacation. As we stood in line for the bus to get back to our hotel, I was still crying. The woman behind us asked if I was ok, and I told her it was my last night in Disney and I always get emotional. Her response, "I do the same thing."
Well, I didn't bring home any "souvenirs" (remember the old Disney Cruise ad?) from that trip, but my son was born 10 months later. Now, my dream has come true because not only do I have my son, but now I also have my two daughters. There is nothing more special to me than going to Disney with my three children. I loved my Disney vacations with my husband, but seeing Disney through my children's eyes, just makes a special place all that more magical. I've traveled to Disney as a mom our last 3 trips and I look forward to many more!
Posted by Beth Doda ~ disneymom2jhe